Confluence

I have plenty of Punjabi friends - thick freinds. Punjabis love their food...or should I say, they love their butter chicken with beer. Hanging out with them for all these years, I have taken on some of Punjabi traits which is completely opposite to my docile southern Indian traits. Even after taking on some of their traits, I am such a misfit in a setting where there are plenty of Punjabis. I don't smoke, I don't eat meat but I drink and I obviously look a bit different. More than anything, I have lived here all my life, so I know what to expect from them....but they haven't been to south India all that much - so they do not know why I am like the way I am. Not their fault at all.

All they know is - south Indians are dark skinned, they have a wierd accent, eat masala dosa like there is no tomorrow, drink filter coffee and buy lot of utensils and gold. Oh, this is too much information for my Punjabi friends already, so they will be like, "let's just call them "madrasi" and that will cover anyone from any of the four southern states in India. One bright soul even told me that capital city of Tamil Nadu is Kerala! - He was a proud Jaat brother.

I am somewhat brown and if there is enough light focussing on my face - it is enough to confuse a Punjabi. In his mind, I am getting passed of as a "dark skinned" Punjabi than a "light skinned" madrasi. So goes one of my Punjabi acquaintances "you don't look like a south Indian"....that is all well, the real trouble is she expects me to take it as a compliment. Really, huh!

Some of the Punjabis I meet for the first time are a bit more adventorous. They tell me the differnce between the batter that is used for uttapam and plain dosa. When they get a rare chance to sound knowledgable about south India...as a matter of principle, I don't intervene. I let them have it the Punjabi way.

It’s a constant dilemma – whether to ‘fit in’ or ‘stick out’.