Monday, March 23, 2015

Semifinal World Cup 2015

Another satirical piece by my friend 'Psy'Narayan. If you know a bit about cricket, you will enjoy this. Laughter guaranteed. 
Sources reveal that the entire Australian nation (which is the total number of Indians, who watched India Vs Pak match at Adelaide and weekend footfall at Ambience mall, Gurgaon), have decided to boycott watching the semi-final at the stadium and will be glued to StartSports, Hindi feed for watching the knock out game.

The decision has sent shock-waves across the country, with the home team being counted as one of the favorites to lift the cup, not having fans to support at the stadium would work against the morale of the home team.

The country’s unanimous decision to boycott live cricket came to the fore, when the news went viral that the Aussie tormentor, Laxman will be on Hindi commentary during the live telecast.

On being asked about this development, the former leggie from Australia disclosed that ‘For years, the country has been waiting to see the Aussie tormentor on back foot on our soil and this is our only opportunity’ With gems like ‘Every run save garna padega’ ‘bulle ka baghari kinara laga’ and ‘ABD bagaut honhar giladi hay’, we have never seen the stylish Hyderabadi, struggle so much in Aussie soil.

"Even I am inspired to take up the job at the Hindi commentary box" (banking on his short stint with RR), winked the Aussie superstar with a (Venkatsai) sigh of relief. On being asked about the lack of support to the home team at the venue, pat came is reply like his zooter ‘Do you think we can ever outnumber the Indian fans?’
The two time world cup lifting ex captain Picky Ronting, with a huge grin on his face told us that ‘All our strategies over the years had failed to contain him and this is one opportunity no one wants to miss’. He said, 'come to think of it what the likes of – McGrath, Gillespie, Lee and Warne couldn’t do for us, Start Sports did it in this world cup.' 

"Regardless of Australia’s fate in the crunch game, I am going to watch it on star sports Hindi", thundered, Ricky Steve Clarke, the Aussie fan, who has seen the team being hammered by the laxy righty over the years. ‘This is our time’.

Undisclosed sources also reveal that, huge number of people have started attending private Hindi classes to enjoy Laxman struggling in Australia. We also have news that ‘commentator of the box’ Rameez R is helping the Aussies with appreciating the language better.
Our homegrown Barsha Hogle, was unavailable for comment on this development, as he himself is going through a rough patch in the commentary box with Shoaib delivering him chin music perfumed with leather. This is better than Starc bolwing at Raina; said the elder Chappel brother famous for under arm bowling and Sourav Ganguly.

Unfazed by the conditions, Laxy is confident that his vocabulary with Hyderabadi twist will speak for itself and keep the aussie fans out of stadium and ensure maximum support for India.

Just like his exquisite flicks and cover drives, hesaid ‘Guch baney gay liye, guch ghona hoinga wohi ek Honghar Ghiladi ki nishani hay’. He also said ‘Ousy kee Thaisy’ (Aussie ki Taisi).