Post is under construction. This cartoon was on 'The Economic Times' sometime ago.

A for Ass, A for Analyst!

I am going to explain a scene in a blue chip company.

CEO of a company has just lead his company to year over year double digit growth in an extremely tough economic situation. Board of Directors tell him to recognize all the key employees at a gala event where all the important members from investor community will be present. At the venue, big boys from marketing, supply chain, sales, service delivery are there and there is basically a procession of suited and booted smart business people.

Suddenly to the CEO's surprise, a bunch of badly dressed, unruly bunch makes an entry. Sensing trouble, he goes to the company's major shareholder and says "I have no idea where this bunch has turned up from, I will ensure they are out before anyone notices". To which the shareholder remarks, "I know who they are and I have intentionally left them that way. They are the analysts and you have no idea the amount of damage they can do on the balance sheet. So let them be, they like being the uninvited guest and gate-crashing is their hobby. Keep in mind that serves our interest as it will keep our slate out of trouble!"

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My take:

Analyst - they have this really odd form of intelligence - typically make very boring company and they really can't pass of as party animals. I used to be charmer but not anymore, it seems I have lost my edge and that is particularly pronounced over the last couple of years..since I turned an analyst. 'Turned' sounds like the key word here.

Last time I was out on a date with a girl (very pretty), she was talking about sale at Sisley and I was thinking about what is Boeing going to do, now that it has run into delays with delivering its 787 dreamliners on time to airline companies that had banked their future expansion plans on it!

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Updated on April 27, 2008.

After fielding plenty of brickbats from the analyst community, I have decided to add this update. I mean no harm, I have no affiliations and I don't intend to please anyone directly or indirectly through my blog. I am an ordinary 'information hound' and I like commenting from the sidelines by being completely neutral. Do whatever, the title of this blog ain't changing. And yes, I want to shout it out to the world - "I love my job". That said, I feel compelled to come out with something which will resonate with my clan. So here it goes..

"Behind every successful balance sheet (not necessarily a popular balance sheet), there is an extremely capable analyst"

- Vinayakan Aiyer

Plunder, Down Under!

See below..under normal circumstances I will not give these faces any space on my blog. But when they are wearing a defeated look, it just gives me such a compelling reason.

An epidemic that was spreading fast in Oz cricket team. Worst case of foot-in-mouth disease. Indian team has cured the epidemic and how! Foundation stone of this cure (read victory) was laid by Anil Kumble in Sydney after the second test. He chose his words carefully, was dignified and still conveyed what he wanted to.

Everyone who has played cricket in India has played gully cricket at some point in time. I can tell all the people this much...when we guys played cricket, we exhibited the highest possible spirit, much higher than what the best international team put on display at Sydney. For example, we would never claim a catch that was not clean enough.

To my mind what happened in Sydney was not cricket, it was organised crime in its purest form. If there is something called 'sports terrorism' then the 2nd test at SCG was a perfect testimony to that. As for Symonds, I feel for the monkey! It took me sometime to come out with this...simply because I was thinking all this while, did Harbajhan call Symonds a 'Monkey' or called Monkey a 'Symonds'. I am still thinking, please help :-)

Lets recall some soundbites given out by Aussies in the recent series (before & during the series)

Oz media - Indians will be walloped 4-0 in the test series; CB series would be a cakewalk...

Michael Clarke - It is always important to beat India.

Hayden - Invitation to boxing bouts, obnoxious little weed, number of matches Indians are losing and the like.

Collectively Oz team has used words like integrity, commitment, gamesmanship, mateship so frequently and so loosely that by now these words do not have a meaning.

Take a look at the victims we have claimed

Shaun Tait : He was going to give us chin music, wasn't he? And the Perth test was going to be wrapped up within 3 days....Where is he now? Last I heard, he has taken some sort of temporary retirement from cricket!

Adam Gilchrist : He decides to 'walk' from international cricket after flooring a sitter from VVS Laxman's blade.

Brad Hogg : Poor thing, got his timing wrong. Couldn't even make it to the playing eleven on his final one-dayer.

Ricky Ponting : He is reduced to a pale shadow of his former self. I still regard him very highly as far as his skill with the bat is concerned. After this series, it is quite evident that he has a character flaw. The kind of flaw, which will never let you trust him and the kind of person from whom you do not want to buy a second hand car. He played some awful shots all along the series. If his poor run with the bat continues, he is just one series away from losing his captaincy. And if he looses his captaincy, I do not think his big bloated ego will let him play as an ordinary player in the side.

It is an open secret that Aussies always used off-field tactics, mental degeneration and on field abuses to be world beaters. Along came a team which stuck these to them on their rear so bad that it hurt. I can't help but recall this exchange of verbal volleys between Ramnaresh Sarwan (West Indies) & Glenn McGrath (Australia) in a Test match. After Lara's dismissal to McGrath, Sarwan came in and he was taking guard.

McGrath : How does Lara's dick taste?

Sarwan : Ask your wife!

At that point McGrath's yelled a lot of unmentionables to Sarwan. Umpires had to intervene to sort it out.The point is, treat the world the way you want to be treated yourself.

Chanderpaul once said "If 50-60% of debatable decision go the other way in any Test series in Australia, Australia will not be the same invincible team it looks like. And this is exactly what has stopped us from taking the test series 2-1.

While deciding the title of this post...I was spoilt for choice. I thought about "Winds of Change - its blowin' then I switched to "Higher you are the farther you fall" and then "Victor and the Vanquished"

Last but not the least, how can I forget Robert Ogilvie, wondering who this guy is? The Brisbane streaker who ran in and Symonds did the rest. When asked "do you regret, what you did"? His answer just takes the cake and candies "No, you live only once, don't you?"

Choice is Yours

I can't see people in pain even if it is out of their own making. Ha ha... do I sound like Father Teresa?

Often we all run into people who just complain. Complaints about relationships, complaints about jobs/careers/colleagues, complaints about power cuts, potholes, corruption. When face-to-face with these complaints, I am helpless and I really have not succeeded in doing much other than being a patient listener/friend. These complaints, to my mind stems from some sort of dissatisfaction. Will we ever realise, we have the power to change, we have the power to choose and turn things around big and small?

The most common complaint I hear is about an 'inefficient system' because of politicians. A wise man once said "A government is nothing but a mass reflection of the people it represents". I am surprised how such an off-the-cuff remark can can be so true! There are so many people I know who just complain about the government and don't ever go out and cast their vote. I was hardest hit when one of them turns out to be my best friend. His refrain being, "I pay taxes so I have every right to complain, whether I vote or not is irrelevant". I am so sure he is one of the many millions out there who say the same thing. It is like saying "I will have sex and produce kids but their upbringing is not my responsibility". I am definitely not trying to equate sex with paying taxes but I am just making up an extreme example. Friends - this one goes out for you all > imagine, if your parents said this to you when you were born...

Point being, you don't have the moral authority to complain about the 'system' if you don't vote. To set right the 'inefficiency in the system' you have to contribute and the contribution is your vote. When it comes to voting, I have been voting for only one party. Over here, my thoughts do not have any tilt to any political party. I am just requesting all of you to go ahead exercise your most basic choice in a democratic country. And that choice is to vote. It is important because your 'choice' decides whether India is a functional or a dysfunctional democracy.

REALISE ---> It takes two to Tango. Pay your taxes and cast your vote. Voting is important because it determines how effectively your tax money will be spent. At the risk of over simplifying, the tax you pay is your hard earned money. You obviously don't want your hard work to go to waste.

Below are some common lines I hear from my 'educated-yet-will-remain-illiterate' friends and acquaintances. Goes without saying, I am not the one to keep quiet after hearing it.

* "I don't vote because there is no one worth voting" -- [I say] This so reeks of lack of willingness to take responsibility of the situation. Isn't it?

* "My single vote is not going to make any difference" -- [I say] "Little drops of water makes the mighty ocean" anyone?

* Corollary of the above "India will not become USA or a developed country by just me voting" -- [I say] USA is USA and developed countries are developed because at some level they have more people who don't think like you. They have more 'do-ers' than 'talkers'.

Call me names, accuse me of having a loudmouth. I openly challenge anyone who can convince me why voting is a bad idea and why one should not vote.

Sun is Sun, Earth is Earth and India is India, but my dying wish - We must not be a country full of people who keep moaning and do nothing.

"Ask not what your country can do for you

ask what you can do for your country"

-JFK

Rolled Over By

As the holiday season rolls by every year, I am sure most of us are bombarded by Happy Diwali, Merry X'mas & Happy New Year et cetera messages (particularly SMSs). I have been waiting since 31st December morning hoping against hope that someone out of the 150 odd people I have in my phone book will send me a personalised message. Nobody did. I concede, sending one general message is the easy thing to do and typing a personalised message can be extremely tedious for everyone. I can't help but get the feeling that we all are becoming increasingly impersonal and technology just compounds the whole thing. That said, all the messages wish me good health, success & happiness. I am surprised to learn that there are so many well wishers for me out there for me.

My New Year Resolution : Spread happiness, love & never type *one* message and send it to all the people in the phone book.

Just Personalise IT.

Stung My...

I consider myself an extremely warm person, but when you go to a compact place like Shillong where everybody knows everybody and you are never a nobody, I realised how cold I have become. Visit to Shillong was my first to north eastern part of India and the agenda was to sink in the culture and lives of people tucked in a corner of our country and experience the mountain's clean air (there isn't any inside the city).

Catching SCORPIONS live on Dec 12, drove the whole agenda. What a show. Klaus Meine still stings and stings hard with his high octave vocals at a ripe young age of 60. A banner read "SCORPIONS : Sting Our Ass". Very creative! Sting they did - and how? I have always respected Germany for their precision tools, automobiles & Scorpions. Post my visit to Shillong I have started liking all musical expressions from Germany. I just can't get enough of Rammstein's brand of industrial rock. Rock bands perform, Rammstein just burns. And their vocalist, he does not sing, I call it some kind of 'subsonic booming growl'. And yes if there is anything called the 'ideal' language for rock music, it has got to be German.

Going back to being *warmth* bit, I guess it is possible only in small cities. If I start spreading warmth here, I have serious doubts whether I will succeed in doing it for a long time to make an impact. Further, do people have time to appreciate it? Everybody is busy chasing something. Some chase money, some chase power, some chase happiness, some chase anything that moves on two legs and some don't have to chase anything as they are born with a silver spoon right up their rear and they are busy enjoying it.

In a nutshell..listen to good music, travel whenever one gets an opportunity and enjoy life. Winter chill is here and please don't tax your brain with warm thoughts.

Misdirected

Customer is always right : That is probably the only thing I learnt in my hotel school. It spills over and it holds true for all businesses.

Lets take this case: A customer wants to buy an aircraft but goes to a sanitary ware shop. Going by the rule of "customer is always right", can the sanitary ware shop owner do anything about getting the customer an aircraft? What if the shopkeeper directs the customer to the appropriate location than wasting each others time by sticking to "customer is always right" philosophy.

Help is just a blog away.

Aging Gracefully?

"Taut, Toned and Non-Botoxed" - I read this as a headline somewhere for a news item. I meet my friends after a gap of 2,3 or 4 years...they say "Oh you have a receding hairline!" I wonder whether it is for real or its just a conversation starter. Anyway, my nonchalant attitude towards it helps me to sidestep it completely.

Flashback

About five summers ago, I was walking along a neighbourhood park, the ball with which kids were playing was out of the playing area as a result of a budding Sachin Tendulkar hitting out. Others in the game gave me a shout "bhaiyya, ball dena" (brother, just get the ball back to us). I threw it back in.

Fast forward to today

Same situation, same shot, I threw the ball back in. *Shout* this time was, "uncle, ball dena" (uncle, just get the ball back to us). First I looked around, there was no one but me. Then the new Pepsi commercial that is doing the rounds dawned on me. And I realised, I am aging....gracefully I hope!

While Sun God Looks Over

The debate about global warming rages on. How can the earthlings do the right things so that we do not accelerate this warming? Answer lies within and like always, it is pretty basic.

Real estate companies (particularly DLF) have maximum buildings in the NCR region and because of that they are in a unique position to make the maximum contribution. That said, I have serious doubts whether they have even thought about something like Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR), global warming and the like. For sure their buildings don't convey a strong commitment to the cause.

The other day on my way to work, I noticed most buildings in Gurgaon have a glass exterior. Question remains, what are glass buildings doing here which is hot for eight out of twelve months? As far as I know glass building were conceptualised for places which were cold for most part of the year. 'Glass' as a building material was particularly useful for its ability to trap heat inside. For any building, the highest bill is the energy bill and the lion's share is cornered by air-conditioning system. When real estate companies build glass buildings from a vanity standpoint, all they are effectively doing is increasing the power consumption of the building for its lifetime. Aha...beauty is only skin deep. What a blunder in a country which experiences shortage of power everyday.

Think about this : What if, the real estate companies chose to put solar panels on the terrace of all the buildings that they are constructing (minus the glass exterior, of course)? I concede, the cost of setting it up initially would be high but it will pay back within 4-5 years in terms of the saves on the energy bill.

Sun God is looking over us. We just need to learn how to seek his blessings - I am Vinayakan Aiyer and I call for a real estate + corporate suryanamaskar!

Mine Is Bigger Than Yours

Did you measure it...how jobless you could get? Is that what competitive spirit all about? Lets see how a middle class stock like me grows up. Wishlist of parents - get good grades in school > keep yourself active in sports but don't you dare think of making it your career. Go to a good business school > work with a blue chip company > ride on shit load of greenbacks, buy a house and then find a nice girl > settle down. What is the definition of a nice girl here? It so reeks of Indian societal stereotype...I have not done all of the above but some of it > HELL yeah. Did I ever have an option? In doing all or probably even 60% of these, a non-descript guy like me plays the game, gets fairly good at it (or so I belive it to be!) and then brushes everything under the carpet by saying "Oh, how I love competing".

Along came alcohol > some extrenmely beautiful women, wherever you all are > I love you all. We have fought but no problem lets just kiss it away. Work came along, where you say, I created this idea before him. I am faster than him/her. I am the youngest to have done this. I conceptualised it! The only idea of going up is to pull others down.

Along came mobile phones and we started saying for the first time "mine is smaller than yours" (not in so many clear words). Technology development killed this urban mega trend, but the competitive spirit never died. Then came reservations, where for the first time there is a mad race to the bottom - WOW what an idea to build a progressive knowledge economy!

Keep moonlighting, because we want a society mired in "mine is bigger than yours" syndrome.

OK I quit. I am unhappy about something that I am not able to put my finger on.

More on Branding

When I read the above title in one go, it reads like "Moron Branding". That is not how I want it to sound, but my crippled vocabulary can't conjure up anything better. I truly believe in the power of brands, for the uninitiated my understanding of the word 'brand' is not limited to the label I sport or the ones those are brandished on the sidewalk. Brand to me is an *intangible psychological undercurrent* it just lives in people's mind. I am yet to meet someone who knows the 'whys' and the 'hows' of this equation.

When I was 13-14 months old in my career, I was meeting one of my very close friend after a long time. During the conversation my passion for brand brimmed over and I remarked "it is so important to be associated with a positive brand in all walks of life". Corollary of which is, your personal brand should always have a positive ring to it. Considering she was a student of MBA in Brand Management, I expected her to echo my thoughts but I should have known better. BOOM comes the retort "see Vinna, I know you are passionate about certain things but you got to explain". Ha ha.. vivid examples are my forte :

Example #1 : You walk into a store to buy a loaf of bread. On the shelf there is a nameless (read un-branded) loaf and then there is Britannia...which loaf will you pick up? Britannia is the answer.

I ran into a similar situation sometime ago where one of my colleague exhibited a nonchalant attitude towards the word "brand". Now, I had to come out with a really solid example because she has got a really thick skin (Kaziranga Rhino anyone?..).

Example #2 : Your parents are looking to get you married off to a nice guy. Parents always wish good things for their kids...right? After passing all the gruelling tests of their daughter's likes and dislikes, they have two potential matches for their lovely daughter. One works for Microsoft and the other works for 'Notsosoft' making lot of hard money. I asked her, "do you want to take a guess whom your parents would choose?"

Just four alphabets, that is all it takes! Rest assured I can give more extreme examples.

Blog number 50 UP! The regulars - Please leave a note and enlarge this wannabe writer's ego.

Missing the Woods for the Trees?

Hutch bought over by Vodafone > Vodafone engages itself in a high profile nationwide branding excercise. Fair, any business worth its existence should care a lot about its brand, end of the day it is their image! Lot of money spent but the exercise is worth its while.

Call their customer service, visit their website, check them out on mass media, billboards in the city you name it > all re-branded. But, the name of the network/service provider that is being displayed on my phone still reads 'Hutch'. Someone, somewhere in Vodafone has not done his/her homework right.

Find Mr. Fixit..sooner the better especially when you are entering a new market as big as India. I concede we don't live in a perfect world. But then one should stick to the basics and do the basics right.

Opinionated Rules

What I like about rules : *Rules* bring in discipline, *Rules* reinforce a structure, *Rules* are like the guiding light and *Rules* are needed.

What I loathe about rules : Oh man, I am going straight for the jugular. Human beings are far too resourceful and they will find a loophole in any *rule*. We are error prone and we can never write a 100% loophole proof *rule*. Loopholes are important as well, as they form the basis for refinement of the existing *rules*. More than anything, I would just want to see if I can get away with finding loopholes in all the *rules* that I have to follow. The sketch that you see on top right of this page is my attempt at finding a loophole in one of the many *rules* I have to follow.

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I work for this brand conscious company - Freeze moment : 'V' for Vain, 'V' for Vinayakan. This company is just hyper sensitive about its brand value getting tarnished. Something like, if you fart in public - do whatever - we don't care, but don't tell anyone that you work with us! Sorry fellows, I have to make this *rule* up as I can not let out one of your original *rules* because I have to comply with your other set of *rules*. All employees are bound by *rules* to not write the company name, use its logo in any of their personal blogs. What if, one fine day this company decides to let loose all of its passionate employees on cyberspace. Aren't they are off to a flying start, 50,000+ brand ambassadors straight away. If the company isn't sure whether its employees are passionate or not , it is a different story altogether.

In a globalised world (we have just scratched the surface) two things have to move with complete disregard to the boundaries that are created by *rules*. Those are People & Thoughts.

*Rules* are important so are policies but don't be paranoid about the whole damn thing. Ironically, the spanking new state of the art building that I have moved into couple of months ago is not branded yet! So much for managing the brand image on cyberspace with some *rules*.

One Up On Twenty20

Last time India won the World Cup I was 11 months old. Hell yes it has been a long wait, so what if it is in the newest format of the game?

Days of Fifty50 cricket are numbered. Twenty20 is the way to the future and if ICC is looking to globalise the game then they have got their formula right. India has a head start in this format and that makes me feel pretty damn good.

Is MSD a good captain? Is this side fielding like hungry tigers? Perhaps too soon to call.

One00

What a moment it was when Anil Kumble completed his first test hundred today at the Brit Oval. I have been following cricket very closely since 1989 and it was easily the most romantic moment on the cricket field that I have witnessed.

Here is a gentleman cricketer who never had the talent. All he had was his "never say die" attitude and his willingness to work hard. Somehow we human beings always get romanced by talent very easily. But talent in most cases flatters to deceive. Talent is a gift as well as a curse. Blessed are those who are able to make it work.

Anil Kumble's batting may not be very pleasing to the eye of a purist..but it proved to be pretty damn effective. Keep on batting in this free world, you smiling assassin and please pass on your grit and determination to the next generation of Indian cricketers, we need it badly.

And it happened...I mean Divine Intervention

Alright, I know there are plenty of atheists out there.

Roughly 10 days ago my dad was down with viral fever. The usual stuff (read high fever, body ache, weakness, congestion and the like). As it is highly contagious, my mom went down with viral fever 6 days ago. 3 days ago on a sunny Tuesday morning, I wake up with severe cold, congestion, body ache and all the typical viral fever symptoms.

This cocky mind of mine is just not ready to give into the thought of lying on the bed for a week with fever and do nothing, so I go to work wearing my exuberant hat. Just an hour before the end of the day I am running a pretty high fever and my colleagues are like "Vinayakan, you need a break...let this damn viral fever be the excuse". I say to myself "OK you arrogant idiot, party is over, time is up, rest it is". I come home and slip into Rapid eye movement (REM) sleep....'Dreamlessness' is something I have not experienced, whether I am sleeping or not is extremely irrelevant.

I am fascinated by rivers since the day I was born, right from Colorado to Kavery to Ganga, same with dams - Hoover to Mettur to Tehri. In my dream I take a holy dip in the mythical Brahmaputra River. Viola..when I wake up, I am fresh as a daisy!

Ah my darling science, can you explain someone recovering from viral fever overnight by taking a holy dip and that too while dreaming? Forget it, it is a rhetorical question, don't even try answering it.

Hey atheists, there is divine intervention out there too!

Chronicles of Vinayakan - I

I will be 25 this July 18. I thought I am headed for a quarter life crisis, but things just seem to be getting better. Really keen to recap some of the Highlights, lowlights, defining moments, shocking moments of my life till date.

Ladies and Gentlemen, here I roll :

Addition to the millennial clan - July 1982.

Thread ceremony - Didn't have a clue with what was happening. Those Vedic mantras were flying thick and fast - 1989.

Paatshaala - Seven year old Spartan sent away from family for 10 months to learn Yajur Veda - - 1989 to 1990.

Placed a rupee coin, stones on the railway track in my village backyard (my brother an able and willing accomplice) - I still have the flattened rupee coin in my wallet - 1991, my first crime.

Learnt five chapters of Bhagavat Gita - 1992 to 1993.

Hooked to an average of two newspapers a day, took to reading with a vengeance - 1993 till date.

Cricket years - It was all about timing and deception. Some match winning knocks, great saves and catches in there - 1995 to 1999, but very poor captaincy record. Too aggressive to inspire the best out of the team. Tendulkar is always there, but I always aspired to have Mark Waugh's silken grace and timing.

First letter published in the newspaper - May 1998. Some more follow over the years but guilty of not doing justice to this innate ability.

Chose hotel school over business economics and journalism and then got beaten up by seniors in college - All in the name of ragging/personality development program - August 1999, real low point of my life.

My good friends succumbed to peer pressure and meted out the same treatment to my juniors. I took a stand and did not repeat what my seniors did to me - Am I sounding boastful, yes you read it right. Stood up for something that I believed in, showed character for the first time in my life, when nobody was watching. In the process influenced couple of other guys to take a stand - August 2000.

Met Ankur Chopra & Saurabh Desai - 1999 - Close pals

My first bottle of beer - September 1999

Peeing from Hostel terrace after getting drunk - October 1999 - April 2002

Left ear pierced - March 2000

Suspended from college for 9 days - August 2001 - All hell broke loose. Caught in the hostel terrace for drinking Old Monk - Sounds absurd but it happened, maybe the person who suspended me never had Old Monkies.

WTC 9/11 - It affected all of us in some way or the other...Right?

Graduation from hotel school, no job in hand - April 2002 - What a shame.

Faced Vikram Oberoi for my first job's interview and cleared it - May 2002 - What a highlight.

Worked with some incredibly passionate professionals at The Oberoi Amarvilas and learnt first hand what world class service is all about : 2002 - 2004.

Indian - American girl grabbed me at the hotel, she was hot and she had a piercing eye contact - But me too naive, uptight and professional to make the next move - July 2002 - What a miss.

Met Kumarmangalam Birla - Fantastic human being - March 2003.

Met Raju Panjwani - I got inspired, ask me how and why? - August 2003.

Met Bob Willumstud - Politely refused a big tip - Do not remember the month and year.

Met David Cote, put the Mughal cap on his head - Do not remember the month and year.

Met Chris Tucker - Funny guy - I think it was November 2003.

Caught and jailed for 3 hours by railway flying squad for ticket less travel between Delhi & Agra - November 2003.

Change of Job - I am a taxpayer - January 2004.

Bike accident - got seven stitches and a scar for lifetime - July 2004.

My first credit card, American Express it is - September 2004.

Close, trusted friend makes a move on me - Wanted to save our friendship but at the same time did not want to get ass fucked. What a predicament, but achieved both - March 2004.

My first car - November 2004.

Scratched the blogosphere - November 2005.

Interviewer calls me 'cocky', ironically still chooses me for the job. I say 'no' and move on - December 2005.

Nailed a credit card fraudster - when there is a will there is a way - January 2006.

Sleep paralytic attack - April 2006, suffered it for 5 months without knowing the scientific explanation.

Beat a Mercedes CLS 350 with my humble hatchback - Automobile history created! Well alright, this guy was a lousy driver and I knew the road and my car better. At the same time I realise one can't win Tour de France with Tobu cycle.

Right ear pierced - Wannabe Me - May 2007.

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Hindi proverb when translated reads like this:

"To appreciate the brilliance of a diamond, one needs special set of eyes and not everyone is blessed with those set"


So am I a diamond? Not just yet...

Future lens

A conversation between a Jat and a Brahmin

Jat : What will you do in your retired life?

Brahmin : Hmmm...have not decided yet.

Jat : Let me suggest you, you have earned a lot of wealth, fame etc. You may want to buy a plot in a village in Haryana. And if you do that I will gift you three buffaloes. You can wash them, clean them, feed them, milk them and just disconnect yourself from this world. This should probably keep you busy for the most part of the day. It will also be a good exercise for you in your old age.

Brahmin : Oh my...he could not control his laughter. He neither agrees or disagrees but just laughs it away.

Point of reference or point of view can make such a difference!

In the conversation above, for a Jat, taking care of buffaloes is the greatest thing he can do on earth and he takes immense pride in the entire process. But whereas for a Brahmin, I am so sure he would have been taunted by his parents in his childhood that if he does not study well, he will be herding the buffaloes later on in life. Trust me, I have heard it and I surely will not mind milking buffaloes in a village in Haryana in my retired life. That is 35+ years from now..and that sure is long range planning! Moot point here is, what is wrong with herding buffaloes? It just needs a shift in point of view.

Heightened Sense of Being!

People resist the unusual..*I* included.

I have people asking me why I use '*' instead of " in my written communication. Here is why: " was used when only hand written communication was possible, whereas we guys, the *Millennials* are more of a keyboard generation than hand written. Don't get me started on how many times the fountain pen created fountains on my school uniform and in the semi-automatic washing machine(besides my mom's temper). She is on her way to Bangalore right now to be with her elder son. Aaah..the word *Bangalore* does not score a home run with my American friends..because it is unusual for them, I love them for their business acumen though. *Strategy* does not score a six with my Indian friends, because it is unusual for them, I love them for their compassion though. *Jack Welch* is a grumpy old man for incompetent people world over because the name is unusual for them. Umm...Do I love them at all?

*Heightened sense of being* is the state; when I see it all....see it so clearly, give me excess of it. Guess what, my friends call me drunk because it is unusual for them to see a control freak loosing control!

Unwired

Fringe benefits of having your friend working as a Bar Manager in a five star hotel.

• Different types of beer from different parts of the world.
• Endless tasting sessions of fine wines, single malts and scotch whiskey.
• Bartender doing pyrotechnics exclusively for you even when there are 150 other people in the bar.
  

Among other things, I was able to use the Wi-Fi network and it rocks. Think about it, no clumsy LAN cables, no broken clips, endless mobility.

I am so tempted to imagine a world where even electricity can be supplied without any wires. No dug up roads, no damage after natural disasters(cyclones, earthquake etc.), no transmission costs/wastage, no power thefts.