Choices Or Voices

People are people and at a very basic level, we all want the same thing. They are > jobs for self, quality health care for our parents and future relevant education for the next generation of the society. The next generation could be your kids or you are probably a good Samaritan and really care about the future of the society/country/world.

I have visited Europe and USA a few times since the year 2011. But living there for fourteen months gave an excellent insight into how the western world is very different from India.

Western world: Individualistic society. The individualism and the level of individual freedom that exists to whatever an individual wants is unreal. As long as you are not breaking any written law, life is good!

India (and parts of Asia): Collective society. Plenty of freedom for the individual. Yet, one is expected to conform to the societal norms/unwritten laws.

Individualism and collectivism both have their merits and demerits. To keep moving forward as a society, I believe we must not hold on to a mindset for too long. How about we evolve to switch between the two types of thinking that is most aligned with the times? Easier said than done.

As a society, “collectivism” is at the core of everything in India. It is not uncommon to see an individual sacrifice his choice repeatedly in favor of collective voice. In India, “collective voice” is broadcasted to individuals in covert and overt forms. Source of broadcast is usually the family, or the neighbors, or what is shown in any one of the Hindi soap operas. It is impossible to list all of them out. If you are one of those who made most choices based on societal input and are around the age of thirty, chances are very high you have already made many life defining choices. ‘Life defining’ because your life would have a completely different trajectory if you were making choices that you wanted versus what the collective voice dictated. This could be choosing academics versus sports, choosing biology versus linguistics, choosing a life partner versus staying single, divorcing versus being stuck in an unhappy relationship. If you have listened to the collective voice and have got married, please allow me to break it you, making babies will be  a very natural outcome of you getting married. A certain elderly gentleman in a family had one of his feet on a banana peel and the other inside the coffin. Despite his fragile state, legend has it that he emotionally blackmailed his grandson to make the “push” for a great grandchild before his entire body goes inside the coffin. Please don’t miss my mean streaked humor ;).

I have consciously chosen to be single by shutting out the collective noise. In my mind, I am absolutely clear that if I get married, I will get married only when I want to. So far, that has not happened. My decision to stay single in a collective society obviously has repercussions. For example, my parents have been bombarded with variety of questions. Let me put the best one on this blog for your consumption. One of my father’s friend asked him this question in chaste Hindi “आपके बेटे मे कोई कमी तो नही हैं?” (this means “Is your son impotent?”). The weird part is, my dad comes home and asks me that question! I suspect my dad was hoping I will change my mind, get married, get busy making babies in my spare time to prove my virility. Nope, not happening. I can’t let the overt broadcast win this one. 

Also, I want to share the million dollar question from Pammi aunty. Let me alert you, Punjabi Pammi aunty is tour de force, a heavy hitter when it comes to adding muscle to collective noise. This question was an atom bomb directed towards a friend of mine who was dragging his feet on making a decision about his marriage. Unfortunately, it was his mom who ended up fielding this question. The question “आपके बेटे ने कोई ओर लड़का पसंद कर ली हे?” (figuratively, this means “Is your son gay?). My friend reeling under the weight of this question is married and has a three year old daughter now.

If you have ears out for the “collective noise” (sorry, I mean voice), you will regret some of the choices when you reflect on your life. To “avenge” this, you will add to the “collective noise” unknowingly and try to influence someone else’s life at some point in future. Power to you if you are able to stay quiet and break this vicious cycle.

Consider yourself incredibly lucky if the society’s collective voice and your individual choice converge to a single point in your life. Something like one in a billion kinda lucky.

Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD)

In searching for something that is lot of fun - I did not update my blog for sometime. Below is guest blog by my friend Sai Narayan.

 

10 out of 10 for satire. Read On! Smiles guaranteed. Happy Diwali/Happy Deepavali.

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In what could be called as the deal that could change the face of Indian economy,  The Times of India group has decided to venture into producing Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMD) for United States of America and Europe. This came in the wake of an unfortunate event which led to a strong business idea.

Mr. Boman Adsaleswala from Mulund, the regional head sales of the TOI group was enjoying his usual cup of tea in the morning. He was standing in his balcony thinking of his next client meeting when an unidentified flying object (UFO) landed on his head. Minutes after the incident he fell unconscious and his family rushed him to the hospital. The doctors declared him to be in coma. Neither the family nor the Mumbai police could understand the reason of the incident. Family thought it could be due to the stress to achieve his sales target for the month. But it was quickly denounced by his colleagues saying during Diwali, advertisers mindlessly buy ad space leaving the sales team cooling their heels. On closer examination the doctors claimed that this happened because of a strong object that hit Mr. Adsaleswala on his head which led to coma.

While the family is still coming to terms with the shock, Mr. Adsaleswala’s son found a very heavy object in their balcony. While attempting to lift the object he fractured his hand. Neighbours called the BMC who airlifted the object and sent it to Mumbai police. Without wasting time, Mumbai police sent it to the forensic experts who claimed that it was the same object which inflicted coma upon Mr. Adsaleswala. On closer examination, the forensic experts found that the UFO was Diwali edition of the Times of India newspaper. The family is now all set to sue the group and hold the marketing and sales team responsible for the fate of Mr. Adsaleswala.

Undeterred by the allegations, TOI spokesperson blamed it on the advertisers who push them to increase the pages of the newspaper during this time - a mammoth 250 page newspaper. He said “the journalist and the edit team usually go on a long holiday (while that’s case round the year) during this time of the year.

When the leading NDTV journalist Darkha Butt contacted the local resident of Mulund area to know more about the facts – an avid reader of the TOI claimed that these days it takes him at least 15-20 mins to reach the front page. The distraught resident added that he is not surprised with this incident and said this could have happened to him. He now relies on the TOI mobile app instead.

Even the local gyms in Gurgaon have been affected due to this incident as most of the gyms use TOI as heavy weights. Customers refused to visit their gym following the incident ‘Ibb kay uthayga bhai’ said Billu Bodywala, a 31 year old body builder and gym owner from Gurgaon.

While the circulation of TOI has dipped in the Mulund area and in some other parts of the country, advertisers continue to buy real estate advertisement space in TOI. “We park all our marketing budgets during Diwali season, this is the time to advertise” roared a budding Brand Manager of a real estate firm. His enthusiasm has a solid foundation of inexperience.

Undeterred by the dip in circulation TOI Managing Director, Mr. Bhayneet Jain has in fact seized the opportunity to expand his business. He is all set to export unsold Diwali edition papers to US and to some parts of European countries as WMDs. A special delegate from USA visited India to test the WMDs under United Nations (UN) supervision. “This is pure gold” thundered the delegate who later showed regret of not having used this technology for the Abbottabad operation.

Sources reveal that a team of newspaper vendors are being formed from across the country. They will be sent on a secret mission to train the armed forces of US and European countries. 

The UPA government welcomed the deal as it will improve relations with the US and European markets and further improve chances of FDI. A special committee is being formed to name the WMDs after Rajiv Gandhi. (Considering 75% of the ad revenue comes from the UPA budget.)

As anticipated, BJP says they will not support this deal for reasons unknown to them. On probing, party spokesperson said Advaniji is chilling out in Goa and they will comment only when he returns.

While the country is divided on this new development- RAW agents are welcoming this deal saying “India is waging a psychological warfare on rest of the world by sending these mind numbing editions”. Others are happy that they no longer have to go through the ordeal of reading this paper anymore.

Bollywood is extremely happy with the deal saying this is their last hope to enter Hollywood. Considering the fact that ads occupy 70% of space and bollywood occupies 40% (10% of the ads are film promotions). This could be our last chance to enter the global arena after the attempts made by Mr. Anil Kapoor, says, Amod Mehra a trade analyst.

 

On the global front China, Japan and some motley Human rights organizations have approached the UN saying that the deal must be stopped at all cost as the TOI Diwali editions are more powerful than the nuclear bombs that were dropped in Hiroshima and Nagasaki. They beleive it is a threat to mankind.

News has just come in that Mr. Adsaleswala finally opened his eyes and is currently reading the Hindustan Times who have been quick to offer him a Job. Meanwhile Congress loyalists have announced a Rajiv Gandhi bravery award for Mr. Adsaleswala.

Pro Single Idea

Before you really start reading this blog, I request you to hear the sound clip from the movie Inception below. This will give you a good context.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzOGcTvoSUs

I am single. The residual energy of the dialogue from the movie Inception is trapped inside my head for some time.  Being single is an idea that has got stuck in there somewhere and much to the dissapointment of all the people around me who want me married…the idea inside my head is a resilient parasite.

 

I am single. I am not lonely. I don't binge drink. I don't smoke. I am not promiscuous. Man is a social animal but being single doesn’t necessarily mean being lonely. Inside us all we have the power to choose how we feel every moment. Single is a state of mind and it’s a pretty good state to be in. Trust me.

 

I am single. I enjoy company of well bred individuals. If it happens to be a girl - even better! I hope they enjoy my company too. None of my link ups were dramatic (at least I believe they weren’t dramatic) and none of my break ups have been messy. I sleep very well every night and I can certainly look at myself in the mirror every morning because I have treated every one of the girls I have been with plenty of respect. It is my interaction with cross section of them that has made my life very rich.

 

I am single. I have had a good career if not an extraordinary one. I am fortunate to be making way more money than what a single guy needs. I don’t have any big expenses to think about on a recurring basis. It just puts me in a position to help out those who need money more than I do. I doubt I would be able to donate generously if I had kids of my own. More importantly, I wonder if I would have been able develop this consciousness towards society at my age if I was married. India already has 1.25 billion people and I don’t see how me adding to that number is going to make me feel any better. I urge all of my married friends to adopt at least one underprivileged child and nurture that child in the way only they can. Change lives of those who are less fortunate….I guarantee you; your life will change for the better along the way.

 

I am single. I am trying my hand at minimalistic living. I don’t feel the need to buy a house, buy things and accumulate assets. At the same time, I don't have a problem with anyone who is buying it all. Either ways, life goes on just fine.

 

I am too single. I am too happy. I love too much. I am too content. I am too mobile. If life takes me on a good journey, I hope to give too much. Well, I don’t think there is anything called “giving too much” :). I am not going to go looking for marriage, if it happens, it happens. If I grow old with no wife and no kids – that is absolutely fine too. My life like everyone else’s is going to be a total of all the choices I make.

 

I am single. This blog is not written for self promotion. I believe society at large undervalues/berates single as a lifestyle choice. It is disappointing. Open up your mind a bit. Try objectivity. Please allow me to quote a line that I read somewhere “I am not anti marriage, I am just pro single"

Budhha Weeping

It was March 1998. I was in 11^th standard. To be specific, I was half-in and half-out.  I was unsure whether I would get enough marks in my final exams to move to 12^th standard. My class teacher was deeply concerned about how I was wasting away my "alleged" potential by playing cricket all the time. In the days that followed, she took it upon herself and (I believe) she gave me grace marks in some subjects. Surprise, surprise! I was promoted to the 12^th standard gracefully.

 

At that time - my life was all about watching and playing cricket. Some people might say playing a sport is healthy distraction in teenage years when the hormones are raging. But only I knew the real problem. The problem was, all the guys I played cricket with were in no need for grace marks to go to 12^th standard…but I needed them. I really did.

Now, the question is – why am I picking March 1998 to start this blog? It was the month when an astute administrator like AB Vajpayee was elected into Prime Minister’s office. He represented the political party (BJP) which some considered does not have secular credentials. Good or bad, he knew how to take decisions and stand by it. In short, he had political stamina – a non-negotiable trait for running a complex, diverse democracy like India. True to form, he weighed his options (political risks, international pressure and economic sanctions etc.) and threw his weight behind conducting nuclear tests. This team was led by a brilliant Muslim* scientist APJ Abdul Kalam.

May 13, 1998 – India - A third world country, dodged US satellites and has done the unthinkable. Buddha smiled. It was just a wonderful time to dream for me in my teenage years. As a 16 year old boy knowing your country is standing up to international pressure, economic sanctions (by USA and Japan) just stoked the dormant pride. Before that, all I used to read in the newspaper was India going around the world with a begging bowl for foreign aid. This time it was different.  India is now a responsible nuclear power and it is just a deterrent. Without actually saying it…India’s democratically elected political leadership was making a statement and that was “Listen up world, respect India”.  

Did AB Vajpayee (BJP led government) get everything right? No. Peace process with Pakistan was a failure resulting in Kargil war and hijack of IC-814 to Kandahar, Afghanisthan. From the outside, it certainly looked like AB Vajpayee committed a big mistake of trusting a war monger like Pervez Musharraf. Things went really bad with the communal riots in Gujarat. For these reasons, I suspect the voting public in India did not re-elect BJP into power in 2004. Somehow the electorate overlooked the fact that AB Vajapyee got a lot of things right too. Constructing roads, taking appropriate policy actions to withstand the impact of economic sanctions, projecting a responsible image of India in the eyes of world media etc. Sure enough, he built serious economic momentum which the world started to respect.

Point is – no one gets everything right. Not you, not me and definitely not Prime Minister of a country like ours.

The ruling Congress led coalition has been in power for nine years since 2004. I am struggling to find right things this government has done. Rampant corruption, fiscal deficit is ballooning up and getting to unsustainable levels, economic growth is sliding year after year, totally misdirected populist spending (National Rural Employment Guarantee Act) and the list goes on! Since India’s Independence in 1947 Congress party has been in power directly or indirectly except for the period 1998 – 2004. For the kind of resources India has, we should have climbed out of illiteracy and poverty long time ago. But hey, Congress will keep saying every five years that they are secular, they are the party for aam aadmi and keep getting voted back into the office.  

Let’s face it – Indian National Congress (INC) has kept India sick, illiterate, poor and pregnant. Someone has to take ownership and the buck stops with INC because they have been in power for most part of 66 years of Independent India. 

I am very clear in my mind. Congress led government at the centre has let India down and I am not stupid to overlook it and vote for them in 2014. The really sad part is, even if BJP gets voted into the office, for the first two years they will not be able to do much because Congress has drained the exchequer with poorly directed populist spending which have not delivered any real economic returns. 

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*Religion of APJ Abdul Kalam is irrelevant in context of this blog. But I am mentioning it to let people know that the non-secular tirade pedalled around by Congress against BJP is at best a cover up on their own incompetence from 2004 - till now.

Added on April 28.

Plenty of well meaning middle class Indians voted for Congress (in 2004 & 2009) as they saw Manmohan Singh through the prism of his wonderful work as Finance Minister in 1991. He was able to do all of it in 1991 because back then P.V Narasimha Rao was willing to bear the political risk of his decisions even when leading a minority government. But now, with Sonia Gandhi holding the remote control for all decisions an able guy like Prime Minister Manmohan Singh is rendered completely ineffective. He may have all the educational qualifications but I doubt he can ever be the administrator that Indians want him to be.

Chronicles of Vinayakan - II

July 18, 2012...I will be 30 yrs old. By that date, I hope to claim that I have successfully weathered the quarter life crisis. I never thought I will write this blog...but my friends tell me how much they enjoyed reading Chronicles of Vinayakan - I. Plus, I want to put few things in writing that I can reflect on when I will be 35 yrs old in the year 2017.

Read on, please.

Moving to house 1455 in Poorvanchal JNU. What a house! - July 2007

Shared the song 'Beedi' from the movie Omkara to a colleague in USA. As expected, she did not understand what the song was, I passed it of as Indian folk music - September 2007

Silk scarf and a pin stripe suit. A suit is a suit is a suit - November 2007

Brother's marriage. Dad and bro not seeing eye-to-eye. Wondered whether Indian family system and marriage in itself is overrated to keep the 'love' economy running. Over the years, I have grown increasingly cynical towards marriage, unfortunate! - November 2007

Hanging out with school friends at 'The Big Chill', Khan Market, New Delhi - an Italian food joint. A regular feature of our lives now - since December 2007

My first rock show in Shillong by Scorpions. So much energy. Oh yes, this is Steamrock Fever! Went to Cheerapunji the next day (supposedly wettest place on earth) - December 2007

First sip of Johnnie Walker Gold Label on the rocks. Admire the way a spirits company markets the bottle first to sell the liquid inside it - January 2008

My friend sets me up on a date by 'introducing' me to a girl through my blog. I was astonished to know that a girl would go on a blind date with me after reading my blog. I skip office and go - January 2008

India wins Test Match at Perth (WACA) vs. Australia. This is what wet dreams are made of - January 2008

Blind date girl eventually dumps me as I am not marriage material. Gets married to some other guy. Obviously, I wasn't invited - Sometime in 2008/09

Bhutan trip in less than Rs. 10,000. First time out of India. Fascinating country...among other things, its a country where phallic symbols are painted at the entrance of the house - December 2008

Delivered flowers to parents of a girl whom I have not met! I am such a nice guy - April 2009

On to twitter and I think I have found the social media platform that I wanted - June 2009

Went zipping on wire at Neemrana fort...A bit of adrenaline there - July 2009

Visited Bhubaneshawar and then Sun Temple at Konark. For a civilization that is Bharat which built this masterpiece 800 years ago, how did we lose our way so badly? - December 2009

Hired a wealth manager to multiply my pennies. Bizarre! Was I taking drugs? - March 2010

Between November 2004 and August 2009 - I have had seven flat tires. I believe, I have had more than my fair share of flat tires! Why, why?

Silver Medal, Corporate Sporting Challenge: Airtel Delhi Half Marathon. As a result of this, I got to meet Kapil Dev in office - November 2009

My first trip overseas on company business to Singapore after getting drunk at a friends place previous night. Many more trips follow but I remember this trip only in parts - August 2010

Got my milk tooth removed, thought of giving it to a jeweler to make an ornament out of it - December 2010

India wins Cricket World Cup. Celebration time! - April 2011

I chauffeured a pretty girl to the airport. For a nanosecond it seemed like she wanted to give me a bye-bye kiss...I kick myself for letting this moment pass. I am such an idiot - April 2011

Went to Khajuraho to admire erotic art / Kama Sutra carvings on temple walls. Played guide to two free spirited Dutch girls - Evelyn and Jonecka. This could be my alternative career choice if I quit my corporate gig - July 2011

Solo travel to Europe. I take on 8 cities over 21 days spread across 5 countries including Oktoberfest - Munich, Germany. Love it and recommend it - September 2011

Lost my wallet on train to Luxembourg from Amsterdam. Reported it to Luxembourg police and they gave me a page as proof. First Information Report (FIR) probably. What's more... a Dutch train official finds my wallet, establishes contact with me and mails it over to the hotel I was staying in Munich - September 2011

Who says French are aloof? I used google translate and used this line over and over again with cross section of French people in France. "Bonjour, Je suis indien et je parle français comme une vache espagnole. Parlez-vous anglais?" - This line works if you say it with a smile/touch of awkwardness. 100% success rate. September 2011

Relocated from New Delhi to Bangalore and lost my cuff-links in transit. My precious! - October 2011

Metallica, Live in Bangalore. Mindless crowd management by the event management company but an awesome show - October 2011

In my enthusiasm to chat up strangers, I lose my camera. I am so dumb. Bahrain airport - January 2012

Running and crowd spotting at Hong Kong's avenue of the stars. Amused to see my Asian friends posing near Bruce Lee's statue - May 2012

Grandpa passed away. Sad. He had a great life - May 2012

Ten years of work life complete. Tale of six jobs, two companies - June 2012

Wrote to a senior official of world's largest airline and suggested to him that he should include a pack of condoms as amenities for all the frequent fliers. He appreciated the feedback and I don't want to names drop on this blog - June 2012

I haven't found my camera face yet so I hope am ageing gracefully. I am so much more in control of my thoughts and actions than how I was at 25. Feel very sure about the choices I have made in life till this point and the ones I will be making in the years to come.

To celebrate my 30, I have changed the name of my blog to "Scatterbrained" - I am very sure those who know me well would agree that I am totally Scatterbrained.

Life begins at 30, see you on the other side.

Green & Sustainable

April 2011: Due to my parent’s decision to sell everything we had in Delhi and move to South India, I had to re-evaluate where I should stay. A true nonconformist that I am, I had no intention of buying a house of my own and payback loan to the banks for few years. Alternative idea of paying rent to a landlord seemed rather wasteful. I am saving money to catch the Aurora Borealis (Northern lights) live.

Trust me when I say, siblings are very useful in scenarios like the one was in. I spoke to my elder brother in Bangalore and said “Bro, I am going to look to move to Bangalore with my current job, but if it doesn't work out, I will put in my papers and stay with you in Bangalore”. He replied “Sure”. Then I started the conversation in my company to move me to Bangalore. Details of the conversation with my employer are unfit for public consumption…so, let’s leave it at that.

October 2011: I moved to the Bangalore office. In fact, I didn’t quite move to the office, I started working from home in Bangalore. It was an unintended/indirect gift from my employer in turning me into a first green employee of theirs in India. I definitely know, no one in my company really cares about how much they have given back to the environment by letting me work from home…but for the sake of this blog, let me write it anyway:

1. I don’t shave and shower everyday: Saving at least 150 ℓ of water every week. Project it over 52 weeks; my company has given back 7,800 ℓ to the environment through me. Please don’t say “Ewwww, yuck Vinayakan”….I am a hygienic guy. The weather is nice in Bangalore through the year and one can go without taking shower every day

2. I don’t drive to work: Saving at least 12 ℓ petrol every week. Project it over 52 weeks; my company has ensured 624 ℓ of petrol is not consumed through me. And one less car on the road

3. I don't need to wash & iron my clothes: Working from home, I am wearing shorts and a T-shirt, so there are no special office clothes to be washed or suits to be dry cleaned. Saves water and stops detergents from polluting the water bodies. No ironing required...which again leads to reduction in my electricity consumption

As 'getting ready' and 'commute to office' time is saved on an everyday basis, I have more time to work on my fitness and write this blog. Through this medium, I wish to spread the "Sustainability" message to the world. I dream, some other organization somewhere in the world will read this and let the employees go green with its direct/indirect action.

And by the way...other than my friends - whom I coerce into reading my blog, no one else reads my blog. But I just can't stop dreaming.

Accent

Pause for a minute. Take a deep breath.

Let’s go back 312 years. In the year 1700, if gross domestic product (GDP) was measured in the way it’s measured now, India would have taken the pole position of an economic powerhouse in a canter. Due to variety of reasons, India missed the industrial revolution gravy train. Oh, wait a minute, we didn’t miss the train. We were in the unreserved compartment of the train which contributed economic wealth and prosperity to the British Empire and our bogie got disconnected from the train when the engine had used up our resources. Further, as travelers in the unreserved compartment, we put our individual differences on display which just made it very easy for them to rewrite our Vedic educational system.

It so happens that the Vedic scholars were the first ones to master English when the language was introduced to ‘civilize’ India. Please do not be seduced by the ‘civilization’ efforts of the British. British Empire had no option but to make us go through their education system so that we conform to their methods as quickly as possible and start contributing to their objectives. In India, we had someone by the name Valangaiman Sankaranarayana Srinivasa Sastri who was known for his mastery over English language and even Englishmen regarded him very highly. With historians like Romila Thapar writing our NCERT history books, Srinivasa Sastri isn't mentioned anywhere. Luckily, in the world we live in, Wikipedia is not authored by Indian historians.

Due to the presence of numerous languages in India, spoken English has different regional accents. On a personal note, language is a medium to convey thoughts and as long as that is done effectively, I basically don’t care about the musical quality of the accent. India is probably the only country in the world where one Indian has a rather condescending tone while describing a fellow Indian’s accent. I am ok with harmless fun, but we don’t have to downgrade each other for wearing an accent. I don’t think there is anything like “superior” or “inferior” accent. I have people in my family who revel in their mastery over the language but make fun of other accents. When are we going to stop sizing each other up on trivial things like accents? An accent must not be divisive. Let’s be proud that we have contributed numerous words to the English language. Let’s be proud that we have the largest and the youngest English speaking population in the world. In a few years, we would have changed the language so much that very soon it will be “Inglish” and not “English”.

As most of us know, Germans speak English with a German accent, French – whatever little English they speak, they speak with a French accent (and they are very proud of the way they are, they are not looking for validation from anyone)…as for Americans, I love them. They speak ‘American’ with a vocabulary of 1,000 English words. A New Yorker certainly isn’t berating a Californian.

For the sake of "Inglish" let's save Indians from Indians :)

Vegetarian

“If the slaughterhouse had glass walls everyone would be vegetarian”

– Sir Paul McCartney (The Beatles)

Whenever I am in a random get together of friends or acquaintances I am always an outsider in some context or the other. It’s been like that since I went to hotel school in the year 1999. In that batch, there were students from all parts of India but in the circle of friends I had, I was the only Delhi raised, south Indian.

It has been more than a decade since I went to college but life continues to put me in situations when I am an outsider. These days I am usually a single guy in a circle where everyone is married. Going by the kind of plans of I have for my life, this is unlikely to change in the foreseeable future. Married guys (and gals) have completely different things to talk about than a single guy. They talk about how priorities in their lives have changed after marriage or how they are preparing for arrival of a new member of the family or how their little kid is learning to walk etc.

At times, I am an outsider because of my vegetarian eating habits. I have been a vegetarian all my life as I was born into a strictly vegetarian family. I ate chicken in my college once but my delicate, 18 year old vegetarian system got surprised and I didn’t enjoy the taste of chicken. So, I left it. Other than that, there have been rare occasions when I am travelling and I have deviated from my vegetarian ways but these instances have not been out of choice but because of the circumstances.

Being a vegetarian serves as an excellent conversation starter. The conversation usually goes in 2-3 predictable directions. They are:

1. “You have no idea, how big a challenge it is cook for a vegetarian separately when everyone other that you coming over is ok with eating meat”. My reply: “Oh, really? I am really sorry. All I need is Rice/Roti and dal…or fruit salad. I promise I won’t be offended if I don’t make it to your invitee list because of my vegetarian ways”

2. “Oh! you are a vegetarian – I can’t live even one day without eating meat. Don’t you find it difficult?” My reply: “No. It’s not difficult at all being a vegetarian in India. In fact, the sheer diversity of cuisine we have in India supports my vegetarian eating habits very well. I consider myself incredibly lucky to be born a vegetarian in India because of which I have access to various cuisines”

3. “Back in college/when we were working together, you used to meat…how come you are a vegetarian now?” My reply: “You are probably confusing me with someone else, but I was a vegetarian in college canteen/staff cafeteria”

Number 3 above has come from people who have known me very well. But I guess, remembering me as a vegetarian is completely irrelevant information for friends who eat meat. That is ok; I don’t want to ask too much off their brain space. Killing an animal with the only intent of eating is irrelevant to them, then why would they care about remembering my vegetarian ways?

I am a nonconformist and I believe I am comfortable in my skin. I certainly don’t feel bad for being the odd one out. But I certainly feel terrible about any of my friend’s antipathy towards vegetarianism. Friend(s): I love you dearly but I will stick my neck out and say “animals deserve better and you can be better”

Chatter

Below is the question that was asked by one of my colleagues who works in the publishing division of the company I work for. I replied to him…I do not know whether it was published. Even if it did, I am sure it would have got edited. But my blog space gives me unlimited freedom and I am going to enjoy that freedom.
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Q. Ever been stranded on a plane, at an airport, or at a hotel because of weather conditions? If so, shoot me a message with what happened, how long you were delayed, and what you would do differently next time. Any lessons learned? I'm writing an article and want your input
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My reply

Oh yes, it happens all the time. My longest has been five hours at the Mumbai airport in 2005. Getting stranded is the best chance to chat up strangers/fellow passengers. I try to engage in simple conversations about their lives and things in general. Luckily, I have had very good success rate (100%). At Mumbai, there were a few things working in my favor. As the delay was because of the weather, I was not alone. There were so many passengers who had five hours of ‘nothing to do’ time. Plus, given my hotel experience, I am able to read people pretty quickly and tell who will engage in a conversation and who will be aloof….it’s easy, its common sense. For example, I will not approach a person who is reading a book. I look for those who are restless and are scanning the airport/hotel lobby; I approach them politely, look them in the eye, smile and ask a harmless question. Usually, they open up like a fountain, full of words.

These days, with the proliferation of tech gadgets (iPods, mobile phones etc), chatting up strangers is a hobby that I have been forced to put on the ‘endangered’ list. I have to work just a little harder. But still, I will not do anything differently; I will continue to chat up strangers. Lesson learned: Barriers break when people talk. Unfortunately, I haven’t clicked a photo with any of them. Its time I started doing it. Chatting them up and then photographing them with me in it will make a very good album by the time I turn 80. Be it a German, American, Russian or Brit…they all have the same standard stuff to say to me. “India is a beautiful country”, “it’s been great talking to you”, “Oh, I didn’t realize time X hours passed so quickly!”

When it’s an Indian I am talking to – the conversation is about bad politicians, our population and numerous things that could be better!

Hybrid Theory

Met my Konkani neighbors in Gurgaon this morning. It so happens, their son works in the same company as I do. I wasn't keen on knowing anything more but this elderly lady said to me with a hint of sadness that her son is going to get married to a Punjabi girl. I jumped and replied "how wonderful, your son is doing his bit of keep India together, you must be very happy/proud". Confused, she gave me a quizzical look as my reply was not on expected lines.

Often I hear from pseudo-nationalists that India is going to disintegrate and China has long wanted it to achieve complete dominance in the region. It doesn't end there; they say America wants India to stay together as India is the only credible counterweight to China's hegemony in the region and eventually in the world. We were Bharat first. After the idea of nation states took hold, we got rechristened as India. From hundreds of princely kingdoms evolved India (version 1) which was divided on the lines of language - Punjab for Punjabis, Tamil Nadu for Tamils and Assam for Assamese etc.

As bizarre as it may sound, all the single Indians can keep the dream called India alive and solve America's problem. All they have to do is marry someone from a completely different part of India than their own. By marrying between cultures today, we are going to have hybrid Indians down the road that will not cling to one state in search of their identity. Caste lines will get diluted rendering vote bank politics redundant. My fertile imagination stretches further to think that this might lead to better governance. The issues which make a strong case for further division of some of the states today will become non-issues.

Don't get me wrong, I am not against states. They are important to achieve good governance. Our government has not done much since 1947...so here is what I propose for India version 2. Consolidate India into 5 states; South India, North India, East India, West India and Central India. Union territories will get along just fine.

Confluence

I have plenty of Punjabi friends - thick freinds. Punjabis love their food...or should I say, they love their butter chicken with beer. Hanging out with them for all these years, I have taken on some of Punjabi traits which is completely opposite to my docile southern Indian traits. Even after taking on some of their traits, I am such a misfit in a setting where there are plenty of Punjabis. I don't smoke, I don't eat meat but I drink and I obviously look a bit different. More than anything, I have lived here all my life, so I know what to expect from them....but they haven't been to south India all that much - so they do not know why I am like the way I am. Not their fault at all.

All they know is - south Indians are dark skinned, they have a wierd accent, eat masala dosa like there is no tomorrow, drink filter coffee and buy lot of utensils and gold. Oh, this is too much information for my Punjabi friends already, so they will be like, "let's just call them "madrasi" and that will cover anyone from any of the four southern states in India. One bright soul even told me that capital city of Tamil Nadu is Kerala! - He was a proud Jaat brother.

I am somewhat brown and if there is enough light focussing on my face - it is enough to confuse a Punjabi. In his mind, I am getting passed of as a "dark skinned" Punjabi than a "light skinned" madrasi. So goes one of my Punjabi acquaintances "you don't look like a south Indian"....that is all well, the real trouble is she expects me to take it as a compliment. Really, huh!

Some of the Punjabis I meet for the first time are a bit more adventorous. They tell me the differnce between the batter that is used for uttapam and plain dosa. When they get a rare chance to sound knowledgable about south India...as a matter of principle, I don't intervene. I let them have it the Punjabi way.

It’s a constant dilemma – whether to ‘fit in’ or ‘stick out’.

World in our Cup

Today morning Sai calls me and asks, "has the World Cup victory sunk in yet?" I replied..."no, it hasn't and I don't want it to."

The brand of cricket India played during the knock-out stages of this World Cup was special. We beat Australia (WC '99,'03 & '07), Sri Lanka (WC '96) and Pakistan (WC '92) in three consecutive games. In a muted sense, it had 'retribution' written all over it and I loved it. Maybe....just maybe, Gautam Gambhir should have grafted for a bit and got to his hundred before giving his wicket away. Maybe...just maybe, Tendulkar should have got to his 100th 100. I personally think, Tendulkar wanted the cup more than his 100. So, its all good. What a journey its been for him - from a ball boy in 1987 to part of the World Cup winning team in 2011. That is just so much distance one can cover in 24 years - all his batting exploits seemed sidelined by the joy that he experienced on the night of April 2. Its highly unlikely one can experience the range of emotions that is felt by people in sports. Maybe those in music/creative fields come close...but I can't think of any other.

Flip side of this victory, we all know for sure Tendulkar will not be playing in 2015 Cricket World Cup. The day he retires, I wonder what cricket will mean to me and million others in my generation who grew up watching him play. There will be prolific run scores, match winners, team players etc....but there never will be another SRT - because he is India's favourite son by some distance. Consider this, in a country with a population of 1.2 billion, being a favourite son can be a double edged sword.

Bravo, little master! for giving us joy and enjoying your success responsibly.

Mt. Good Aiyer Boy

Most Indians are pretty serious about their religion. Go to any religious place in India, you will always find more people there than a supermarket. Religion for all seasons, religion for all reasons - that's the mantra here! Though we all are born into a religion, but the thing is religion is not genetically acquired. Rather, its culturally transmitted. For the sake of this blog, let's say if I was born in Iran, I would have been a Muslim. Or if I was born in Norway, then chances are high that I would be Christian.

My way of pleasing the God is not very expressive but I am a deeply religious person myself. Religion is great because it forms a belief system - which is extremely important to go through life. In my upbringing, I have had my share of epics, Vedas, Bhagvad Gita etc. It is tempting to think that I have turned out to be a good "Aiyer" boy. Watch your mouth Vinayakan! Being born in an Aiyer family is one thing but turning out into a good "Aiyer" boy is an arduous journey. One has to conform to so many rules that lot of Aiyer boys attain martyrdom in their valiant attempt to scale Mt. Good Aiyer Boy. It is not for the weak 'religioned' :-).

I don't understand, was religion supposed to be so complicated as its made out to be by our customs and rituals? Why can't religion be simple? At times my family wears religion on its sleeves which makes me a bit uncomfortable. My thinking is, we all should do our bit but the real trouble starts when we start acting as custodians of what was transmitted to us culturally.

OK, I am ranting. Need to get some sleep.

Marriage - Great!

Since 2005, I have been going to plenty of marriages. First it was my school friends, then the ones who were in the same housing complex, then friends from my IHM days, then the ones from my hotel career, then the ones from my present workplace and then some more. January 2011 - there is a marriage to attend in Coimbatore. Three months later there is one more to attend in Patna. In 2008 my parents were talking and they were like..."maybe, by going to these marriages he will get interested in married life of his own". It doesn't seem likely in foreseeable future.

I thought of combining these marriages with something I love doing .i.e travelling! Other than being with a friend on an important milestone in their lives, I get to see a new place, I get to meet new set of people and eat a different cuisine. So, whenever there is a marriage to attend outside of Delhi, I readily agree. Increasingly, my leaves have just one reasoning - Friends marriage. My boss noticed a trend and remarked, "you've been attending lot of marriages". Yes, yes!

In between, I heard OSHO's discourse on YouTube where he talks about Marriage, children etc. among other things. Before anyone of you dismiss him as a mad man, I highly recommend giving him a patient hearing. Can't tell what he says is right or wrong and I am nobody to pass a judgement anyway....I certainly believe the the thought process he had developed in his lifetime was simply astonishing. And I simply love his style of speech.

What A Fix

On an average, I read for two to three hours in a day and I have been doing this for more than a decade. Of all the things I have read/studied, cricket is closest to my heart. I am studying cricket even when I am watching it on TV. This spot-fixing chapter is one chapter that I wish did not exist.

To me, Mohammad Aamir is a child prodigy. He bends the ball in, moves it away has a smooth run-up..a run up to the crease that ensures longevity. He is to pace bowling what Sachin Tendulkar was to batting on the Perth track back in 1991. One should have seen the way Tendulkar was driving pace bowling down the track. On the up, of the front foot and back foot...every movement of his was economical, measured with head in perfect balance. This at a time when the more illustrious top order in the Indian batting line-up faced chin music and was sitting in the pavilion. Till he overstepped, the way Mohammad Aamir bowls on a lively pitch is a cricket fans dream come true. And to know that he is just eighteen years of age, I can't help but be shocked and awed in equal measure.

Moot question - What did Tendulkar have in 1991 that Mohammad Aamir does not have in 2010?

Answer: Two things

1) Mentor/Role model. Someone to tell him, his goal is 500+ test wickets by the time he finishes his career

2) In 1991, India was opening up as a country. In 2010, pretty much everything is imploding in Pakistan

Tendulkar idolised Vivian Richards and Sunil Gavaskar. He was spotted early by Sunil Gavaskar and to this day they enjoy very close relationship.

Why didn't a Wasim Akram or Imran Khan mentor this prodigy and tell him he needs to translate his promise into performance?

Ha...Aliens

I am currently reading Stephen Hawking's book Brief History of Time recommended to me by my school time friend who is a scientist herself - thank you.

While surfing around, I got to know there is a reader poll that is being conducted by SmartBrief. I participated and I have voted for the top two colors. See below the screenshot...makes for interesting reading.

I wrote in relation to this subject in the year 2007 - click Psychobabble. I strongly believe, science exists purely to push the boundaries of imagination and capabilities of human beings and the pursuit of searching other life forms should go on....no matter what the risk.

Nomenclature

Whats is in a name? Heck of a lot. I say that because our name is the important thing we are attached with in our life ....Why just life, even in death our obituary column has it. But when we are named, we have absolutely no control over it. Oh My GAWD!

Sample some real names below:

Wuttipong Tanteraponchai - Thai name....and there are some more bizarre ones out there like "Sraithong Boomburaphong"

Hubertus Jacobus Cornelis Ransijn - Dutch name, its like four individuals can be named with this single name :-D

Abu Abdullah Muhammad Ibn Abdullah Al Lawati Al Tanji Ibn Battuta - This dude was a prolific traveller around 1300 AD

Manuel Casanova - Joke went around for this guy...do you have a brother? Is he named "Automatic" Casanova?

Silky - I am curious to know what went through her parents head when they were naming their daughter?

Honey Hotchandani - Given the ridiculousness of the previous name, I made this one up! First, the chick is "Honey" and then she is "Hot"....who cares about "chandani" here?

And then comes the usual names in Delhi/India.

Neha, Pooja, Preeti, Deepti, Priyanka, Divya, Megha

Rahul, Saurabh, Ajay, Sanjay, Amit

Education!

Haven't blogged in a while. Reason, I do not know.

Maybe I am lazy, maybe I was busy writing essays and statements of purpose for my masters. Alternatively, I was studying the impact of compound interest on an excel sheet – yes compound interest over a period of 30-40 years can make for very interesting study! Happy to share.

I started working full time when I was a month short of 20 years of age. It was neither circumstances nor family pressure...maybe it was a fallout of going to the hotel school and the resultant peer pressure. For the last four years, I have a constant feeling of not having my fill of formal education. This period coincides with media’s love for salary-package-laced-headlines on the front-page. What if education is there just to satiate ones curiosity? Why should education be treated as a precursor to a fat salary? We are in the knowledge age and knowledge is coming to us...why do we want to duck under it by linking it with money?

How about studying perfumery or wine making or shoe designing or public policy or cultural affairs or economics or language or population studies or mythology or attempting to be a vedic scholar......Is one life time enough to know even 1% of all there is know? Wikipedia - here I come.

HolidaySutra @ Konark

There was plenty going on at work and I was getting hassled....I tried wearing my 'indifferent' hat but that worked only for a month. So I decided to do what I do best. Just pick up my bag and go. This time it was Bhubaneshwar. And my friend Amitav and his family took good care of me.

I love stories and our history is full of them. Given the kind of historians we have had, unfortunately, I was on a steady diet of 'manufactured' history. Don't laugh...I know even you read the same books by N.C.E.R.T. Our historians romanced the Mughal dynasty and the British rule so much that they developed selective amnesia towards whatever happened in India before 1500 A.D.

Sample this, my Turkish friend tells me that all the countries today which end with 'stan' were at some point in history part of Bharat (modern day India). He adds, 'stan' is a Sanskrit word and not Persian/Arabic word. Further in conversation, I asked "in Istanbul, you would have plenty of history everywhere, right?" He replied, "yes, but we generally don't consider anything which is less than 600-700 years old as historic!" Wonder whether he was bragging about Turkey's history or taking a sadistic potshot at India's historians. I am no good in History so I didn't ask any more.

In line with my visit to the Sun Temple at Konark, I learnt this temple was constructed around 1250 A.D. The temple has such elaborate carvings on stone and it depicts everything from different dance postures to sexual postures and the like. Threesome, oral sex...you name it! If we were a race which carved all of this on the temple walls, how have become a race which doesn't respect its womenfolk even in its capital city?....something seems amiss. It doesn't sound like following a natural evolutionary path.

Further, I surfed around a bit and I got to know a bit more about Sun God. Every ancient civilization has worshiped Sun in some name or the other.

Greeks - Sun God - Apollo

Egyptians - Sun God - Ra

Aztecs - Sun God - Huitzilopochtli

Hindus - Sun God - Surya
and I believe the Japanese had a Sun god as well.

Keeping religious thoughts aside....worshipping the Sun makes a lot of sense to me - the single most important reason that supports life. Nothing wrong with that.

Those who question the idea of Idol worship or existence of a power above us in general, I suggest you do this; catch the sunrise and sunset alone one day in profound silence (without your camera). Best part, it doesn't matter which religion you were born into, Earthlings have got just one Sun - no scope for plurality or diverse view points here!

Very, Very, Lovely

We are born - depending on where you are born, you are either black, white, brown or yellow. We grow up, we live... watch some TV where you see a commercial that reeks of such lack of creativity, that you die. Or rather, become a living dead animal. OK, cut out the drama, Unilever really wants to sell their Fair & Lovely 'fairness' cream and the level they can stoop to is quite unremarkable. Most Indians in the last fifteen years would have seen numerous commercials of Fair & Lovely and I am sure it made some of them squirm and others...well, they went to the store and bought a tube of Fair & Lovely. I don't blame them, the medium of TV is a very powerful medium and it does shape/change our opinion.

I believe that 80% of Indians have my skin colour or darker. The guys in charge of Fair & Lovely have a huge market to tap into. Unfortunately, it seems Unilever guys are not going to stop at anything. In some of the TV commercials I have seen lately (in the last 24 months or so), they have exploited the relationship between a father and his daughter to sell their product. Neither am I a dad nor a daughter...but I can tell you, son to mother relationship is perhaps as special. Doesn't every father think his daughter is the most beautiful girl in the world...irrespective of what the world thinks? By these commercials, Unilever is wanting the fathers to buy a tube for their daughter(s), or the daughter for herself...or better still, get them both to shop! Sell as many as possible, maximise profits at all costs.

I want to ask Unilever a question. Your sales graph is soaring and you are happy? What's next?

Given the consistent TV commercial degeneration for fairness cream over the years, I will not be surprised if Unilever comes out with Fair & Lovely milk powder in near future. And its probably going to say, make your baby have it regularly for its 'fair & lovely' future.