Post is under construction. This cartoon was on 'The Economic Times' sometime ago.

A for Ass, A for Analyst!

I am going to explain a scene in a blue chip company.

CEO of a company has just lead his company to year over year double digit growth in an extremely tough economic situation. Board of Directors tell him to recognize all the key employees at a gala event where all the important members from investor community will be present. At the venue, big boys from marketing, supply chain, sales, service delivery are there and there is basically a procession of suited and booted smart business people.

Suddenly to the CEO's surprise, a bunch of badly dressed, unruly bunch makes an entry. Sensing trouble, he goes to the company's major shareholder and says "I have no idea where this bunch has turned up from, I will ensure they are out before anyone notices". To which the shareholder remarks, "I know who they are and I have intentionally left them that way. They are the analysts and you have no idea the amount of damage they can do on the balance sheet. So let them be, they like being the uninvited guest and gate-crashing is their hobby. Keep in mind that serves our interest as it will keep our slate out of trouble!"

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My take:

Analyst - they have this really odd form of intelligence - typically make very boring company and they really can't pass of as party animals. I used to be charmer but not anymore, it seems I have lost my edge and that is particularly pronounced over the last couple of years..since I turned an analyst. 'Turned' sounds like the key word here.

Last time I was out on a date with a girl (very pretty), she was talking about sale at Sisley and I was thinking about what is Boeing going to do, now that it has run into delays with delivering its 787 dreamliners on time to airline companies that had banked their future expansion plans on it!

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Updated on April 27, 2008.

After fielding plenty of brickbats from the analyst community, I have decided to add this update. I mean no harm, I have no affiliations and I don't intend to please anyone directly or indirectly through my blog. I am an ordinary 'information hound' and I like commenting from the sidelines by being completely neutral. Do whatever, the title of this blog ain't changing. And yes, I want to shout it out to the world - "I love my job". That said, I feel compelled to come out with something which will resonate with my clan. So here it goes..

"Behind every successful balance sheet (not necessarily a popular balance sheet), there is an extremely capable analyst"

- Vinayakan Aiyer